Home. A word we have not felt the true meaning of in many months. But that is finally about to change! This last week I bought a house, which has been a very long and difficult process. My efforts and consistency have paid off.
Our new home is beautiful! And it will only continue to feel warm and welcoming as we settle in here.
Today the boys and I went and cleaned. My goal was to sweep out the house and bless it before we started our unpacking process. In one closet I found the little red tea light candle. It was perfect because I had forgot to bring a candle with me today.
Red candles are a symbol of fire, survival, strength, action, and independence. This could not have been more perfect! Everything I have gone through and fought for these last six months was represented in this little gift from the universe. A reminder of all I have overcome and fought to achieve.
A few weeks into the house buying process I had placed an order with one of my very favorite online crystal shops, Wildflowers Fancies. The package arrived just before the house sold. I saved it to open and place these crystals in our new home.
Rose quartz- that love and understanding would fill our home.
Amethyst- to promote calm, peace and balance in our home.
Blue Kyanite- for healing of past relationships and harmony in our home.
Amazonite- freedom to express our thoughts and feelings, and to be able to set clear boundaries.
Moving is not my favorite part of life, but I am much relieved this will be the last one we have for quite some time! We needed this safe place to finally call home.
Sometimes life crashes and burns, but you come back even stronger than before. It has taken four months to get back on my feet and adjust to this new normal life. In this time I have learned so much about myself, about my boys, and about others who have passed through my life to help me learn these lessons. I have made new friends, built stronger relationships with current friends, and reconnected with old friends. None of this journey has been easy, but life never is.
I have a butterfly tattoo I had done back in April. I got it for several reasons, but one of them was for a reminder to be joyful and take change with ease. It’s been a great reminder to me over the months. I have had the female tiger swallow follow me through this transition. I see them everywhere, sometimes 3 or more whevever I go! They circle around me, land on me, fly by me. A dear friend sent me a photo of one she had found (shown above) and about a week later I found out I will be coming to yet another big, but positive, transition forward.
The day after this news, I found a butterfly beside my truck, so I picked it up and kept it. This was such a beautiful reminder to me that life is changing again and this transition season from married life to single mom life is finally starting to settle.
During this transition, I have been putting back the pieces of myself. I am breaking out of survival mode and thriving in life now. This new transition forward is such a big one for the boys and I. We really needed this space to call our own again after months of living with a very generous friend. Getting settled into new routines will be so wonderful!
One area of finding myself has come in the form of noticing the messages that are brought to me from life. I already shared about my butterflies, but I frequently recieve messages from bees (a symbol of accomplishing the impossible), grasshoppers (take a leap of faith), moths (be mindful that you are not using your emotions to hide from yourself) and hummingbirds (live in the moment). The hummingbird feather just below floated across my path on a particularly rough day. I knew instantly it was a message and smiled. I later discovered so much about hummingbird symbolisim that I related to. I remember having several hummingbirds that used to visit our old house daily, but never thought to look up their meaning. These are just a few key things that stood out to me:
“We learn how to appreciate that the past creates our future, and that even at the time, some lessons were harsh and hurtful ones, we wouldn’t be who we are without these lessons today. While the past creates the future, we shouldn’t stay in the past, but only reflect on how it has changed our future. They are also a reminder that nothing -past or future- is as important as what is happening now.”
These are a few things I have learned about myself over the last four months. I adapt easily to whatever situation I come to. I make the most of new circumstances. I find joy in my own heart and am happy. I am even more at peace when I can spread joy, love and beauty to those around me. I am able to see good in people, even those who have hurt me. I am a beautiful high energy being. My spirit must be free.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is move forward. Especially when it means you leave an old life for a new one. I am stubborn. I am strong. I am brave. I keep going forward, I don’t give up. I will find my true self and I will be happy again.
I have been collecting positive words, photos like the collage posted here, quotes, sayings, encouragement and keeping it all together in a place I can see it often. A reminder to myself of all I have overcome.
I have experienced an overwhelming amount of rejection, judgement, and lack of support from family through my recent divorce. But in their negativity, other’s have stepped up and been my support, love, acceptance, and they understand that while you may not agree with all of a person’s beliefs or actions, you can still be a good friend, to listen when things are confusing, to help when it’s needed. I am forever grateful for those who have stepped up to show their support for me through this difficult time. This new life will be hard, but it is what I needed and I am glad those who surround me now see that for me also.
I have not had much opportunity to write the many life changes I have been going through the last few months. And some things wouldn’t make much sense because I had not explained yet about becoming divorced, but now that this is out maybe I will feel a little freedom to share with you the new life I am building. I have so many wonderful ideas and plans. I really cannot wait for a few months to pass so that more of my life can be settled in and we can start to rebuild routines, habits, life and more. This is an exciting time for me, but it is also sad because this was not a path I ever anticipated when we had first got together almost 5 years ago. There is grief because that part of my life is now over, but there is excitement for all the many possibilities my future now holds. I am looking forward to what life will bring me now.
This has been such a wild month, full of emotional highs and lows. And a lot of personal stuff I wont be sharing here.
I did a fun Yoga challenge this month. Only a few poses I hadn’t really practiced much before (Half Moon, was one. I don’t remember the other.) I have really enjoyed it, even though I didn’t practice every day, I would catch up a few days at a time.
With warmer weather -when it decided to be warm!- we have been enjoying almost daily evening walks. It has been lovely to see the sunset change each time. I’ve been taking lots of photos of the beautiful sunsets we have here.
I encouraged the ladies in my tribe to share something from their home that made them happy. This was mine. My little ferments (I finally published the directions for making sauerkraut) and aloe plant and my diffuser going. I probably had lavender and grapefruit in that day for calming anxiety.
Fox has exploded with his interest in writing and learning numbers. This sample was him writing a shopping list out while I was working on our grocery list and menus. He said items for each word he wrote, and then carefully writing inside these lines. He is only three years old! This is called “emergent writing”.
I finally placed an order with Mountain Rose Herbs. I’ve wanted to do this for years, and finally just did it. I am loving what I got.
I also placed my first ever Plant Therapy essential oil order. I am absolutely in love with their lavender and frankincense. Vetiver is quickly growing on me as well, a little sure does go a long way with that one!
And one last product share. I got a new order in from one of my favorite herbal shops, Simple & Natural. Her magnesium oil is wonderful! Her lip balms are the smoothest ones I’ve come across from natural shops. This migraine roller blend is my absolute favorite, I highly recommend it! And I had to try something new so I picked out this Daily Herbal Tea. Haven’t tried it yet, but I’m sure it is amazing like the rest of her products.
I discovered an interesting quiz through a friend. I took it not sure what to expect the results to be, but this describes me very well. I was quite surprised this was the word chosen for the answers I gave since “warrior” has been a special word to me for a long time now. Read more here.
I did spend some time working on my blackberries. Cleaned out dead ones and wrapped the good ones into the fence here. I’m hopeful for another good crop this year. I usually get at least a gallon. Almost all of it goes into blackberry jam or I use it to make blackberry flavored kombucha.
The boys are getting bigger and starting to have more and more moments where they play together well and get along. Their close age gap has been difficult for awhile, but I feel like they will grow closer as they get older.
We got eggs from our favorite farm. Fox went with me and got to pet the goats and see chickens and ducks. He loves animals.
Bear got his very first haircut at 17 months old. No more baby curls. This made me sad. He looks so much older now.
My friend who is closer than a sister to me moved back to Hungary. It will be several years before we are see eachother again. We both have locks and traded one to have something from each other through this long separation. I am excited for her journey and glad they are going back home, but I will miss her so much.
This has been highlights from March. I hope enjoyed these little tidbits from our life. ♡
I love making Crystal grids. Especially when there is so much intention behind the placement. This grid I placed on Spring Equinox was no different.
Spring Equinox, in the Northern Hemisphere, marks the beginning of Spring. It means a time of balance. Balance between night & day, yin & yang, masculine & feminine. It is a time to bring positive energy as you move into the Spring months.