Sometimes life crashes and burns, but you come back even stronger than before. It has taken four months to get back on my feet and adjust to this new normal life. In this time I have learned so much about myself, about my boys, and about others who have passed through my life to help me learn these lessons. I have made new friends, built stronger relationships with current friends, and reconnected with old friends. None of this journey has been easy, but life never is.
I have a butterfly tattoo I had done back in April. I got it for several reasons, but one of them was for a reminder to be joyful and take change with ease. It’s been a great reminder to me over the months. I have had the female tiger swallow follow me through this transition. I see them everywhere, sometimes 3 or more whevever I go! They circle around me, land on me, fly by me. A dear friend sent me a photo of one she had found (shown above) and about a week later I found out I will be coming to yet another big, but positive, transition forward.
The day after this news, I found a butterfly beside my truck, so I picked it up and kept it. This was such a beautiful reminder to me that life is changing again and this transition season from married life to single mom life is finally starting to settle.
During this transition, I have been putting back the pieces of myself. I am breaking out of survival mode and thriving in life now. This new transition forward is such a big one for the boys and I. We really needed this space to call our own again after months of living with a very generous friend. Getting settled into new routines will be so wonderful!
One area of finding myself has come in the form of noticing the messages that are brought to me from life. I already shared about my butterflies, but I frequently recieve messages from bees (a symbol of accomplishing the impossible), grasshoppers (take a leap of faith), moths (be mindful that you are not using your emotions to hide from yourself) and hummingbirds (live in the moment). The hummingbird feather just below floated across my path on a particularly rough day. I knew instantly it was a message and smiled. I later discovered so much about hummingbird symbolisim that I related to. I remember having several hummingbirds that used to visit our old house daily, but never thought to look up their meaning. These are just a few key things that stood out to me:
“We learn how to appreciate that the past creates our future, and that even at the time, some lessons were harsh and hurtful ones, we wouldn’t be who we are without these lessons today. While the past creates the future, we shouldn’t stay in the past, but only reflect on how it has changed our future. They are also a reminder that nothing -past or future- is as important as what is happening now.”
These are a few things I have learned about myself over the last four months. I adapt easily to whatever situation I come to. I make the most of new circumstances. I find joy in my own heart and am happy. I am even more at peace when I can spread joy, love and beauty to those around me. I am able to see good in people, even those who have hurt me. I am a beautiful high energy being. My spirit must be free.