Our Summer

This year has been so chaotic I haven’t even been able to do monthly posts. Really it was probably best I didn’t post for a few months due to all the major transitions our little family went through. Now that we are settling down and preparing for the weather to decide to stay cold for Fall, I would like to do frequent update threads again.

I’m not really going to sort this by month since it will be easier to just pick and choose favorite memories from our summer to share with you. Enjoy!!

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We have so enjoyed visiting many trails over these summer weeks. Walking paths (or hiking trails) has become a new family favorite. Fox set the pace on a trail that was estimated to take 2 hours and we finished within 1 hour and 40 minutes! He is quite the trooper!

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Playing in the creek at several parks has been a favorite escape from the heat this summer. The boys absolutely love collecting “pretty rocks”, building piles, throwing large rocks into the water to make splashes, or running up and back down the creek exploring.

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Simple board games have become a favorite for Fox. Candy Land is one we play together quite often while brother is asleep for his nap. He also really enjoys memory card match games and working on puzzles together.

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One week this summer we went camping. It was a much needed relaxing time for all of us! I am already working on new camping plans for the fall before the night weather is too cold for the boys!

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We were in totality for this recent eclipse! Fox was so fascinated with everything going on and the changes in the sky and sun, changes in the temprature around us, the energy of all the people there who where also excited about this phenomenon!

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I have tried to take the boys to various different parks around us, seeking out a park when we visit a new area, or just visiting our favorite parks many times over this summer. The boys love parks!

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I have been collecting crystals left and right this summer, and of course the boys are fascinated with them and want to hold or play with them so… I started having them pick out their own each time they are with me when I go to a store. Slowly they are building beautiful little collections too!

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We went to a “Things That Go” event at one park. Fox was able to climb in so many different types of trucks and work vehicles! Fire trucks, helicopter, monster truck, school bus, run down a tow truck ramp, various tractors and road repair vehicles, water trucks, so many vehicles! It was wonderful for him! He talked about it for days.

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Fox has become quite the little climber! This kid is so strong it is surprising. He loves rock walls or rope climbing areas that are at some of the parks we’ve visited this summer.

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Speaking of climbing! Fox did not want to come down from the very tall wildfire watch tower we climbed recently. He really loved being up there and able to see so far! It was a terrifying experience for me (I’m not crazy about heights), but I am glad I climbed it too because his smile was so big!

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I took the boys to a small petting zoo. I think feeding the parakeets was one of their favorite activities. We also got to feed a cow, baby deer and baby goats, a camel, a donkey, and so many more animals! Of course jumping in the bounce house was a big deal for them too. 😉

Despite the many challenges with this life change, we have made some great memories this summer! I cannot wait for the memories we will make this fall!

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Our Summer

Finding Myself

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Sometimes life crashes and burns, but you come back even stronger than before. It has taken four months to get back on my feet and adjust to this new normal life. In this time I have learned so much about myself, about my boys, and about others who have passed through my life to help me learn these lessons. I have made new friends, built stronger relationships with current friends, and reconnected with old friends. None of this journey has been easy, but life never is.

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I have a butterfly tattoo I had done back in April. I got it for several reasons, but one of them was for a reminder to be joyful and take change with ease. It’s been a great reminder to me over the months. I have had the female tiger swallow follow me through this transition. I see them everywhere, sometimes 3 or more whevever I go! They circle around me, land on me, fly by me. A dear friend sent me a photo of one she had found (shown above) and about a week later I found out I will be coming to yet another big, but positive, transition forward.

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The day after this news, I found a butterfly beside my truck, so I picked it up and kept it.  This was such a beautiful reminder to me that life is changing again and this transition season from married life to single mom life is finally starting to settle.

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During this transition, I have been putting back the pieces of myself. I am breaking out of survival mode and thriving in life now. This new transition forward is such a big one for the boys and I. We really needed this space to call our own again after months of living with a very generous friend. Getting settled into new routines will be so wonderful!

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One area of finding myself has come in the form of noticing the messages that are brought to me from life. I already shared about my butterflies, but I frequently recieve messages from bees (a symbol of accomplishing the impossible), grasshoppers (take a leap of faith), moths (be mindful that you are not using your emotions to hide from yourself) and hummingbirds (live in the moment). The hummingbird feather just below floated across my path on a particularly rough day. I knew instantly it was a message and smiled. I later discovered so much about hummingbird symbolisim that I related to. I remember having several hummingbirds that used to visit our old house daily, but never thought to look up their meaning. These are just a few key things that stood out to me:

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“We learn how to appreciate that the past creates our future, and that even at the time, some lessons were harsh and hurtful ones, we wouldn’t be who we are without these lessons today. While the past creates the future, we shouldn’t stay in the past, but only reflect on how it has changed our future. They are also a reminder that nothing -past or future- is as important as what is happening now.”

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These are a few things I have learned about myself over the last four months. I adapt easily to whatever situation I come to. I make the most of new circumstances. I find joy in my own heart and am happy. I am even more at peace when I can spread joy, love and beauty to those around me. I am able to see good in people, even those who have hurt me. I am a beautiful high energy being. My spirit must be free.

Finding Myself

New Life

 

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Sometimes the hardest thing to do is move forward. Especially when it means you leave an old life for a new one. I am stubborn. I am strong. I am brave. I keep going forward, I don’t give up. I will find my true self and I will be happy again.

I have been collecting positive words, photos like the collage posted here, quotes, sayings, encouragement and keeping it all together in a place I can see it often. A reminder to myself of all I have overcome.

I have experienced an overwhelming amount of rejection, judgement, and lack of support from family through my recent divorce. But in their negativity, other’s have stepped up and been my support, love, acceptance, and they understand that while you may not agree with all of a person’s beliefs or actions, you can still be a good friend, to listen when things are confusing, to help when it’s needed. I am forever grateful for those who have stepped up to show their support for me through this difficult time. This new life will be hard, but it is what I needed and I am glad those who surround me now see that for me also.

I have not had much opportunity to write the many life changes I have been going through the last few months. And some things wouldn’t make much sense because I had not explained yet about becoming divorced, but now that this is out maybe I will feel a little freedom to share with you the new life I am building. I have so many wonderful ideas and plans. I really cannot wait for a few months to pass so that more of my life can be settled in and we can start to rebuild routines, habits, life and more. This is an exciting time for me, but it is also sad because this was not a path I ever anticipated when we had first got together almost 5 years ago. There is grief because that part of my life is now over, but there is excitement for all the many possibilities my future now holds. I am looking forward to what life will bring me now.

New Life

Lessons in Gratitude

June has been a busy month for me. It’s also been a very hard time as I’ve had to go without a lot of things I am used to each day. For starters, I’m living with a friend and am extremely grateful for the roof over my head.

Throughout these last weeks I’ve come to notice little things here and there that I wish I had, and days (or hours later) things have appeared in my life.

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I am grateful for a bed to sleep on. One I can make with both fitted and top sheets. And this gorgeous floral pattern, handmade quilt I get to enjoy right now. 

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I was telling someone I really wanted an over the shoulder bag, and *the very next day* this lovely deep blue bag arrived. (Blue has been a significant color for me this month.)

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Despite my attempts to quit coffee earlier this year, I’m back to a full pot, or more, most days. I don’t know where my energy has gone, but I feel like I’m drinking coffee all day long! I had left my coffee mugs back home and my friend had a few here, but there weren’t enough to go around til someone else was done. A few days later this Arizona coffee mug showed up. I immediately knew it was meant for me because I had traveled to Arizona with my grandparents when I was 6-7 years old. This has brought a little joy to my mornings.

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I have been really missing my adult coloring books, three days later one was gifted to me! (Today actually, as I am writing this post.) I was excited to see there were several pages with butterflies!

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Last week I was just thinking it would be nice to have a new color to paint my nails, and one came to me which I absolutely adore!

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A final wish I made just hours ago: I wanted a new calendar, and now I have one (it was with the coloring book)!

Teaching the boys, mainly Fox, about gratitude was suggested by a friend. I have been asking Fox what things he is grateful for. As part of our evening/bedtime routine I have been asking him “what are two things that made you happy today?” I tried to explain grateful to him, but he didn’t quite grasp the concept yet. But the things that made him happy have involved other people or things we were able to do or cook or see that day which I think is really neat that he sees those are the things that make him happy/grateful. My heart melted last night when he told me “You make me happy, Mama!”

All of these little things are really big things to me. It’s been little reminders to trust my needs and desires will be met as I express them, even if only in my head. I’ve had many other things manifest for me during these weeks as well, but they are too personal to discuss so I won’t put that here. Trust that you are not alone and that your needs & desires matter. Spirit will listen.

Lessons in Gratitude

May Journal

May has been a busy month full of many changes. I will post more about some of these changes in the coming months, but for now, our regularly scheduled, and a little late, journal of the little things we did this month!

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Fox called all these cows over to the fence! He’s done this many times, but never had this many follow him. There were about 30 of them. He would run along the fence to another section and they would follow him there and then he would run back the other way and they would follow him again. He found it quite hilarious!

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Bear loves watching the cows on our evening walks too.

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My peoeny bushes bloomed early in the month. I picked them many times to bring inside. Their scent filled the kitchen! It was lovely.

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Bear was very fascinated with the moon when we were outside in early evening. He kept pointing and saying “what’s this?”

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Bear made his Mimi a birthday card. He loved coloring! We’ll have to color more often.

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I celebrated my 26th birthday by baking a vegan Chocolate Cake and enjoying it with coffee.

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A very sweet friend sent me new LuLaRoe leggings for my birthday! This pair and one other pair which I haven’t tried on yet. I love them! They are so soft and comfy. I had these on my birthday list for this year and didn’t think it was going to happen and then she surprised me with them!

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Another dear friend sent me this gorgeous Kambaba Jasper Egg and Peace & Calming II. I’ve never seen a stone like this one! Its beautiful! She sent this little description with it: it’s said to be the ultimate stone for peace & tranquility, soothing for the nerves, and attracts prosperity. It also is a hopeful stone, helping heal heart wounds.

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Around my birthday I started combing out the ends of my dreads. I needed some change, but am not at all ready to have all my dreads gone. I thought a 50/50 was a good compromise. About 9 inches are dreaded and the ends are my natural, curly hair. I am loving this change! It was exactly what I needed.

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One of my sisters got married this month. At the wedding, Bear collected rocks.

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Fox throwing sticks in the water at one of the wedding events.

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For the first time in probably 5 years, I mowed the yard. My lines might be straight, but it all looked good. I found the quiet time to myself to be very refreshing.

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My oregano has a few sprigs of peppermint growing in it!

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They are my constant reminder to take no day for granted.

May Journal